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410 Ultimate Alcohol Quotes & Alcohol Captions For Instagram!

If you are looking for some alcohol quotes, captions or puns for your Instagram photos then you’ve come to the right place! Whether you’re celebrating a birthday, a special occasion, a wedding, hosting a cocktail party at yours, or simply having a night out with the girls or a beer with the boys, you’ll want to take lots of photos to remember the experience!

However finding the right captions to go with your drinking alcohol pictures for Instagram can be difficult sometimes. Your impressive photos definitely deserve great captions on your social media, not only to do the experience justice, but to get more engagement on Instagram or Facebook!

This article cuts out the hard work of trying to come up with a caption for your Instagram photo or TikTok video as it gives you all the best alcohol captions for Instagram, as well as the best puns and quotes.

You’ll find 410 great alcohol captions here – whether you are after quotes, puns, jokes or inspiring or clever captions for Instagram – they’re all here! There’s also lots of great captions about not drinking too!

Whilst alcohol and drinking can make for good times and bringing people together, always remember to drink in moderation and enjoy responsibly!

 

ALCOHOL QUOTES & ALCOHOL CAPTIONS FOR INSTAGRAM

Short Drinking Alcohol Quotes

 1. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

2. “I don’t have a drinking problem except when I can’t get a drink.” – Tom Waits

3. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart

4. “Cheers to the freakin’ weekend.” — Rihanna, “Cheers (Drink to That)”

5. “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

6. “What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!” – George Gordon

7. “If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.” – W.C. Fields

8. “What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” – W.C. Fields

9. “I have mixed drinks about feelings” – Unknown

10. “Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.” — G.K. Chesterton

11. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C Fields

12. “I drink when I have occasion … and sometimes when I have no occasion.” – Miguel De Cervantes

13. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

14. “War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.” – William Faulkner

15. “99% of all problems can be solved by money — and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” ― Quentin R. Bufogle 

 

Alcohol Quotes:

16. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

17. “It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby 

18. “Death: “THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.” Albert: “Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.” ― Terry Pratchett 

19. “Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.” – Finley Peter Dunne

20. “They’re professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jaeger shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don’t forget that the Russians – any Russian – can drink you under the table.” ― Anthony Bourdain

21. “Ignorance is a lot like alcohol: the more you have of it, the less you are able to see its effect on you.” ― Jay Bylsma 

22. “Research consistently shows that the risks to health outweigh the benefits of drinking alcohol. My argument is that the benefits to my mental health justify the risks.” ― Graeme Simsion

23. “I once heard someone say that the concept of moderation seems a little extreme, and tonight…I agree.” ― Koren Zailckas

24. “It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance” ― William Shakespeare, Macbeth 

25. “I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.” ― William Shakespeare, Othello 

 

Drinking Alcohol Quotes:

26. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Great Gatsby’ 

27. “That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”  ― Charles Bukowski

28. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

29. “Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!” ― Warren Ellis 

30. “But in college, we can wear our alcohol abuse as proudly as our university sweatshirts; the two concepts are virtually synonymous.” ― Koren Zailckas

31. “Frankly, I was horrified by life, at what a man had to do simply in order to eat, sleep, and keep himself clothed. So I stayed in bed and drank. When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn’t have you by the throat.”  ― Charles Bukowski 

32. “I think I need a drink.’ ‘Almost everybody does only they don’t know it.” ― Charles Bukowski

33. “…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine.”  ― Gillian Flynn

34. “An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.” ― Criss Jami

35. “I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” – Abraham Lincoln

36. “A man is a fool is he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

 

ALCOHOL QUOTES & ALCOHOL CAPTIONS FOR INSTAGRAM

Funny Drinking Alcohol Quotes 

37. “I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” — Ron White

38. “A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” – W.C. Fields

39. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

40. “Drinking makes uninteresting people matter less and late at night, matter not at all.” – Lillian Hellman

41. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman

42. “After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” – Oscar Wilde

43. “Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.” – Herman Smith- Johannsen

44. “He that drinks fast, pays slow.” – Benjamin Franklin

45. “Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.” – Robert Benchley

46. “I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra

47. “I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” – Joe E Ellis

48. “The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.” – Jeff Foxworthy

49. “One can drink too much, but one never drinks enough.” – Edward Burke

50. “Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.” – Philip Rosenthal

51. “I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.” – Oscar Levant

52 “I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” – Chelsea Handler

53. “Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.” – Mark Twain

54. “Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets.” – Dudley Moore

 

Funny Alcohol Quotes

55. “Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” — Sammy Davis, Jr.

56. “Alcohol provides the only true escape, that’s why it still remains in such high demand.” – Robert Black

57. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” – Richard Braunstein

58. “A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.” – Albert Einstein 

59. “Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.” – Alex Levine

60. “The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for my enemies.” – William Temple

61. “I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. But alcohol can’t talk. It just sits there. It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” – David Levithan

62. “Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death.” – Ben Jonson

63. “Drink washes off the daub and discovers the man.” – Thomas Fuller

64. “There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.”  ― Chelsea Handler

65. “Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean, against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people.” – Unknown

66. “I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: “Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.” ― George Carlin

67. “Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol, except health, happiness, and money.” – Mary Wilson Little

 

Drunk Quotes

68. “It takes only one drink to get me drunk…..the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” – George Burns

69. “Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.” — Seneca

70. “A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.” – Winston S. Churchill

71. “Always do sober what you said you’d do when you were drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut!” — Ernest Hemingway

72. “When we drink we get drunk. When we get drunk we fall asleep. And when we fall asleep we commit no sin. When we commit no sin we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” – Brian O’Rourke

73. “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – Dean Martin

74. “I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” – Dorothy Parker

75. “The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.” William Butler Yeats

76. “Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” – Eleanor Early

 

ALCOHOL QUOTES & ALCOHOL CAPTIONS FOR INSTAGRAM

Quotes About Drunk People

77. “Maybe some folks are alcoholics and others are just voluntary drunks. Maybe some folks drink due to body chemistry and others due to their lazy characters. Maybe some have drinking problems, while others have problems enough to drink.” ― George Jones

78. “Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.” ― Criss Jami

79. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” – Steve Fergosi

80. “I’m not drunk, just a little stoned.” ― Gerard Way 

81. “Some people are extroverts only when they are drunk.” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana

82. “The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” – William Butler Yeats

 

Quotes About Being Sober & Not Drinking Alcohol

83. “The day I became free of alcohol was the day that I fully understood and embraced the truth that I would not be giving anything up by not drinking.” – Liz Hemingway, “I Need To Stop Drinking!” 

84. “Not drinking makes me a lot happier.” – Naomi Campbell 

85. “Sobriety was the greatest gift I ever gave myself.” – Rob Lowe 

86. “That’s all drugs and alcohol do, they cut off your emotions in the end.” – Ringo Starr 

87. “I’m very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.” – Jim Carrey

88. “When you quit drinking, you stop waiting.” – Caroline Knapp, “Drinking: A Love Story” 

89. “There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.” – Ovid

90. “I don’t need alcohol to see the world in its depths, I carry the sun in me.” – Lamine Pearlheart 

91. “My mind may be sober, but my confidence is high!” ― Habeeb Akande 

92. “I do like to have fun. I don’t need alcohol to have fun.” – Rima Fakih 

93. “Life is important. There is nothing to hold onto. A man that drinks is throwing his life away. Don’t do it, hold on to your life. There is nothing else to hold on to .” – Tennessee Williams 

94. “One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.” – Lady Astor

95. “I don’t ‘become myself’ once I’m drunk. I don’t use alcohol to be happy.” – Jessie J 

96. “Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven’t touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane.” ― Craig Ferguson

97. “When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.” – Jimmy Breslin

98. “I hate the taste of alcohol. When I’m drinking, I’m drinking Red Bull.” — Paris Hilton

99. “I am more afraid of alcohol than of all the bullets of the enemy.” — Stonewall Jackson

 

Drinking Alcohol Captions For Instagram 

100. First drink, then let’s think about it.

101. No working during drinking hours.

102. I have mixed drinks about feelings

103. Drinking before 10am makes you a pirate not an alcoholic

104. Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.

105. My friends speak of my drinking…. but they know not of my thirst

106. Enjoy a taste of heaven.

107. I’m in need of liquid therapy.

108. Alcohol you later

109. A drink a day keeps reality at bay.

110. I enjoy long romantic walks toward the bar.

111. According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

112. Don’t even ask, just pour me a drink.

113. I’m feeling a bit overworked and under intoxicated. 

114. Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Wanna drink about it? 

Check out these drinking captions for more!

 

ALCOHOL QUOTES & ALCOHOL CAPTIONS FOR INSTAGRAM

Short Alcohol Captions For Instagram

115. It’s thirsty Thursday.

116. Sir sips’ a lot.

117. Sip, sip hooray!

118. You can’t sip with us

119. Sip happens

120. Bottoms Up!

121. I’ll drink to that!

122. Let’s drink about it

123. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.

124. Save water, drink alcohol

125. You look like I need a drink. 

126. Pour quality pic, high quality friends.

127. I followed my heart & It led me to ALCOHOL.

128. Drink happy thoughts.

129. Sippin’ and chillin’.

130. Cheers to pour decisions

 

Funny Drinking Alcohol Captions 

131. Alcohol won’t solve your problems. Then again, neither will milk. 

132. Twinkle, twinkle, little star, point us to the nearest bar.

133. Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

134. Strong women need strong drinks

135. You are so bottlefull to me

136. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

137. I used to think drinking was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.

138. I quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil. 

139. Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need. Better to be safe than sober.

140. And God said, “Let there be vodka!” And He saw that it was good. Then God said, “Let there be light!” And then He said, “Whoa – too much light.” 

141. I drink to make other people more interesting.

142. Friends are therapists you can drink with.

143. That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.

144. Alcohol- The best “night-time, speech slurring, headache creating, dehydration having, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance” medicine. 

145. And then alcohol said, “Put that on Facebook, it’s hilarious.” But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong. 

146. Alcohol + “Watch this!” = 911

147. Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off.

 

Drunk Captions

148. I hope to arrive to my death late, in love, and a little drunk.

149. Alcohol: Some of the best times you’ll never remember. 

150. A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.

151. Alcohol is the liquid version of photoshop.

152. Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches. When you can’t get the straw in the hole anymore, you’ve had enough. 

153. Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you. 

154. Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk. 

155. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

156. Drink triple, see double, act single

157. I make pour decisions!

158. Thank you from the bottom of my glass.

 

ALCOHOL QUOTES & ALCOHOL CAPTIONS FOR INSTAGRAM

Cocktail Captions For Instagram

159. If life gives you limes, make margarita.

160. I wonder if there is a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too. 

161. When life screws you up get yourself a screwdriver.

162. I’m a better person when I’m drinking pińa coladas.

163. If you like piña coladas, and getting caught in the rain…

164. You are the piña to my colada.

165. A Lady with a glass of cosmopolitan, defines Beauty with class.

166. The inner soul of every girl out there demands a glass of bloody Mary.

167. I prefer my cocktails old fashioned.

168. I don’t care if someone calls me old-fashioned.

169. Call me old-fashioned.

170. I prefer Tom Collins over Tom Cruise.

171. I love my coworkers from my head to mojitos.

172. Olive a good martini with my work besties.

173. I prefer my espresso in a martini.

174. It’s not as giant as James’ peach, but I like mine just fine.

175. If you visit new York someday don’t ever forget to try the Manhattan delight.

176. Democratic party, the Republican party, Cocktail party

177. It’s a cocktail o’clock.

178. May all your days be filled with umbrella drinks.

179. Girls often prefer cocktails over, Ahem I guess u already know it.

180. In a relationship with a cocktail.

181. Cocktails are always a good idea.

182. Cocktails are way cheaper than therapy.

183. Friday nights are incomplete without the cocktail.

184. Friday called, she’s on her way bringing cocktails!

185. Tonight’s forecast? 99% chance of cocktails.

186. Girls just wanna have cocktails

187. When life throws lemons catch them and make a cocktail.

188. I always make time for cocktails.

189. There is nothing which a glass of cocktail cannot solve.

190. Take a pitcher, it’ll last longer.

191. Cocktails are more loyal than anyone else.. at least they never let you down.

192. She had a cocktail in her hand and confetti in her hair.

193. Cocktails always gets high on girls.

194. Want to make me yours? Offer me some cocktails.

195. Time flies when you are having a cocktail.

196. Keep calm and give yourself a cocktail.

197. Great love affairs start with a cocktail

198. Don’t think about the cocktail, drink cocktail.

 

More Cocktail Captions For Instagram

199. Bring me the best cocktail in the town.

200. Have a cocktail and get up on the dance floor.

201. Too much of anything is bad, but too many cocktails is just right.

202. Move over, coffee. Today is a day for cocktails.

203. You don’t need a recipe for your cocktail, just blend every spirit out there and the best cocktail is already ready.

204. Political party? NO, cocktail party? YES

205. You can never resist the charm of a cocktail.

206. I don’t drink a cocktail, cocktail drinks me.

207. There’s always time for cocktails.

208. Drink cocktails as much as you can.

209. Cocktails brings you the best taste swings.

210. I need therapy, cocktail therapy.

211. It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.

212. Save water, drink cocktails.

213. I love the umbrella hanging on the top of the cocktail.

214. Cocktail thoughts.

215. The more I think about you the more I need to fill my empty glass of cocktail.

216. Always find time for the things and people who make you happy.

217. I need different types of the cocktail.

218. At times illusion is better than reality, at least you’re getting unlimited cocktail over there.

219. You want to hear the tale, go first grab a glass of cocktail.

 

Cocktail Quotes For Instagram

220. “Why limit happy to an hour?” – W.C Fields

221. “No amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.” ― David Sedaris

222. “It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ― Amy Neftzger 

223. “One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.” – James Thurber

Check out more cocktail captions for Instagram here!

 

ALCOHOL QUOTES & ALCOHOL CAPTIONS FOR INSTAGRAM

Champagne Captions For Instagram

224. A party without champagne is just a meeting.

225. “Champagne kisses.”

226. Champagne is always the answer.

227. Gluten free, dairy free, fat free, I love this champagne diet.

228. Don’t tell me you miss me… tell me you’re outside with champagne.

229. It’s finally Friday, let’s pop the champagne!

230. One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derrière.

231. Coffee keeps me going until it’s acceptable to drink champagne.

232. Eat, Sleep, Champagne, Repeat.

233. If you have to ask if it’s too early to drink champagne, you’re an amateur and we can’t be friends.

234. Champagne should be cold, dry and hopefully, free.

235. Oh no! I bought champagne instead of milk… again.

236. No champagne, no gain.

237. Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.

238. Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had a beer and hot dogs.

239. My only regret in life is that I didn’t drink enough champagne.

240. It’s a bubbly kind of night.

241. But first, champagne.

242. Life’s too short to drink cheap champagne.

243. Champagne is like duct tape, It fixes everything.

 

More Champagne Captions For Instagram

244. Sometimes, the special occasion is that you’ve got a bottle of champagne in the fridge.

245. Drowning my pain in champagne.

246. Anything feels possible after I sip a glass of champagne.

247. Running out of champagne is my cardio.

248. Throw confetti, pop champagne, and toast to a new day.

249. Make it pop like this champagne in my glass.

250. You were my cup of tea but I drink champagne now.

251. What rhymes with Friday? Champagne.

252. Embarking on my champagne campaign.

253. My birthstone is a champagne cork.

254. Champagne is one of the elegant extras in life.

255. I’ll drink your champagne. I’ll drink every drop of it, I don’t care if it kills me.

256. Always keep a bottle of champagne in the fridge for special occasions.

257. Too much of anything is bad. But too much of champagne is just right.

258. There is nothing more beautiful than a sunset, viewed over a glass of chilled Champagne.

259. A cause may be inconvenient, but it’s magnificent. It’s like champagne or high heels, and one must be prepared to suffer for it.

260. Move over, coffee. Today is a day for Champagne!

Check out more champagne captions for Instagram here!

 

Champagne Quotes by Famous People

261. “I only drink champagne on two occasions. When I am in love and when I am not.” – Coco Chanel

262. “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.” — Bette Davis

263. “Think champagne, drink champagne!” ― Ellen Dean 

264. “Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn’t everyone?” – Noel Coward

265. “Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.” – Tom Waits

266. “Come quickly my friends, I am tasting the stars.” — John Green

267. “Too much of anything is bad. But too much of champagne is just right.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

268. “Champagne and orange juice is a great drink. The orange improves the champagne. The champagne definitely improves the orange.” – Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

 

ALCOHOL QUOTES & ALCOHOL CAPTIONS FOR INSTAGRAM

Wine Captions For Instagram

269. Hey, what’s the time? It’s wine o clock.

270. Time to become a superhero and rescue some wine trapped in a bottle.

271. Can’t stop to chat. I’m late for a meeting at wine o’clock.

272. Rosé all day

273. Wine + Dinner = Winner

274. Taking a weekend away to un-wine.

275. Save water, drink wine.

276. If you can’t be with the one you love, love the wine you’re with.

277. Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass, and I’ll be just fine.

278. Of course size matters. No one wants a small glass of wine.

279. BRB: on cloud wine

280. Yes, way rosé

281. Take time to stop and smell the rose.

282. Always at the right place with the white wine.

283. Friday called. They’re on their way and they’re bringing wine.

284. We know just how to wine down after a long week.

285. Uncork and unwind

286. All you need is love and wine

287. A true friend reaches for your hand and puts a wine glass in it.

288. In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

289. You had me at merlot.

290. In dog wines, I only had one.

291. Friends don’t let friends drink cheap wine.

292. Hardest decision today: glass or bottle

293. Give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept those that I cannot. 

294. It’s time to wine down.

295. You know what rhymes with Friday? Wine day.

296. When there’s a wine, there’s a way.

297. Not wine-ing about this situation.

298. On Wednesdays we drink pink

 

Wine Quotes

299. “Beer dulls a memory, brandy sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.”  ― Patrick Rothfuss

300. “All worries are less with wine.” ― Amit Kalantri

301. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” – Rumi

302. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” – Louis Pasteur

303. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” ― Louis Pasteur 

304. “Drinking wine is like using magic: there’s always a price to pay.” – Neel Burton

 

Wine Puns Captions

305. Wine not?

306. Hakuta Moscato

307. Everything happens for a Riesling

308. Friends don’t let friends wine alone

309. Wine flies when you’re having fun

310. I’m a wino-saur

311. Que syrah, syrah!

312. Stop and smell the rosé.

313. I love my partner-in-wine

 

Beer Captions For Instagram

314. Kids drink beer. Real men go for pitchers.

315. To beer, or not to beer, that is a silly question.

316. Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. Yes is the answer.

317. How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

318. Cheers to many more years (and many more beers).

319. He was a wise man who invented beer.

320. Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

321. Beers too many more cheers.

322. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.

323. B.E.E.R = Brew. Enjoy. Empty. Repeat

324. I worked hard all week to put beer on this table.

325. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer and that’s kind of the same thing.

326. It’s strange how eight glasses of water a day seems impossible, but eight beers is so damn easy! 

327. Save water, drink beer.

328. Beer Lime & Sunshine.

 

ALCOHOL QUOTES & ALCOHOL CAPTIONS FOR INSTAGRAM

Alcohol Quotes About Beer

329. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin 

330. “If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.” – David Daye

331. “Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.” – Al Bundy

332. “If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.” – Jack Handy

333. “I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King

334. “Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” – Jack Nicholson

335. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

336. “Remember ‘I’ before ‘E’, except in Budweiser.” – Professor Irwin Corey

337. “I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.” – Dave Berry

338. “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – Dave Barry

 

Beer Puns Captions

339. Beer makes me hoppy

340. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

341. You are un-beer-leavible

342. Well, look what we have beer

343. Don’t worry, beer happy

344. Brew-nicorn.

345. Life is brew-tiful

346. Hop-posites Attract

347. I gotta take a pilsner

348. Of Coors, I love you.

349. It burns when IPA

350. You are me best bud(light)

351. Pitcher perfect.

352. Hop-tical illusion

353. Let’s get hop-py

354. Who Let the Dogs Stout

355. Stout, Stout, let it all out!

 

Liquor Captions & Puns 

356. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

357. Confused about your feelings? Have a blend shot to clear it out.

358. Duck, duck, Grey Goose

359. 50 Shades of Grey Goose.

360. Hit me with your best shot.

361. Let the evening be gin

362. After work, we hit the gin.

363. Gin and bear it

364. Hanging with you is gin-credible.

365. Time flies when you’re having rum.

366. Go where the wifi is weak and the rum is strong.

367. Whiskey me away

368. Whiskey and ice and everything nice.

369. Tequila is cheaper than therapy.

370. When life hands you lemons, bust out the Tequila and salt!

371. One Tequila, two tequila, three tequila. Floor!

372. If life gives you lemons, add VODKA!

373. “Trust me you can dance”- Vodka 

374. Hakuna Ma’Vodka- It means no memories for the rest of your night. 

375. I must sincerely flask you a question

 

Quotes About Alcohol Spirits:

376. “I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of Jack Daniels.” ― Darynda Jones

377. “Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.” Jerry Vale

378. “The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.” ― James Joyce

379. “There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.” Raymond Chandler

380. “I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.” – Mark Twain

381. “Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.” Jonathan Swift

382. “I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.” ― Sylvia Plaith

 

Happy Hour Captions & Puns For Instagram

383. Long Live Happy Hour!

384. Happy hour or better call it cocktail hour.

385. Happy hour vibes.

386. We go together like Fridays and happy hour.

387. Happy hour views.

388. Choose happy…hour.

389. Happy hour? I prefer to make every hour happy.

390. Only count the happy hours.

391. Peace, love, and happy hour.

392. Happy hour is necessary on days when meetings could have been emails.

393. Darling, every hour is ‘happy hour’ when you are fabulous.

394. Happy hour o’clock.

395. Live every hour like it’s happy hour.

396. Sip happens at happy hour.

397. Happy hour is the best hour

398. Happiest among all the hours.

399. Let’s make this a recurring meeting.

400. Good vibes happen at happy hour.

401. Be happy for this moment.

402. God has given you unlimited and countless happy hours, you just need to find and recognise them.

 

Quotes About Alcohol & Drugs:

403. “Alcohol is the only drug on earth you have to justify not taking.” – Annie Grace

404. “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” – Hunter S. Thompson 

405. “Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.” — Bob Marley

406. “If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.” ― Craig Ferguson 

407. “Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.” ― David Sedaris

408. “Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” – P. J. O’Rourke

409. “If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.” ― Bill Hicks

410. “There’a a phrase, “the elephant in the living room”, which purports to describe what it’s like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, “How could you let such a business go on for so many years? Didn’t you see the elephant in the living room?” And it’s so hard for anyone living in a more normal situation to understand the answer that comes closest to the truth; “I’m sorry, but it was there when I moved in. I didn’t know it was an elephant; I thought it was part of the furniture.” There comes an aha-moment for some folks – the lucky ones – when they suddenly recognize the difference.” ― Stephen King 

 

Alcohol Captions & Quotes For Instagram Summary

I hope you got lots of ideas and inspiration for these Instagram captions, puns, jokes and quotes about drinking alcohol and were able to find the perfect one to go with your photos! Do you know any more drinking alcohol captions that I haven’t included? If so, let me know in the comment below as I love to hear from you!

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