If you are looking for some wine quotes, captions or puns for your Instagram photos then you’ve come to the right place!
Whether you’re celebrating a birthday, a special occasion, a wedding, hosting a party at yours, or simply having a night out with the girls, you’ll want to take lots of photos to remember the experience!
However finding the right captions to go with your wine pictures for Instagram can be difficult sometimes.
This article cuts out the hard work of trying to come up with a caption for your Instagram photo or TikTok video as it gives you all the best wine captions for Instagram, as well as the best puns and quotes.
You’ll find a whopping 505 of great wine captions here – whether you are after quotes, puns, jokes or inspiring or clever captions for Instagram – they’re all here! There’s also lots of great captions about alcohol and not drinking too!
Whilst alcohol and drinking can make for good times and bringing people together, always remember to drink in moderation and enjoy responsibly!
Looking for more captions about drinking alcohol? Check out:
The Best Wine Captions For Instagram
1. Can’t stop to chat. I’m late for a meeting at wine o’clock.
2. Taking a weekend away to un-wine.
3. You know what rhymes with Friday? Wine day.
4. When there’s a wine, there’s a way.
5. Hey, what’s the time? It’s wine o clock.
6. Wine is the answer. I just don’t remember the question.
7. Friday called. They’re on their way and they’re bringing wine.
8. Not wine-ing about this situation.
9. In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.
10. In dog wines, I only had one.
11. A good day starts with coffee and ends with wine.
12. I’ve never tasted a wine I didn’t like.
13. No wine left behind.
14. Give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept those that I cannot.
15. I don’t have a beer belly, I have a wine barrel.
16. In vino veritas: In wine there is truth.
If you’re new to the world of wine, learn about wine tasting for beginners!
Drinking Wine Captions For Instagram
17. The best way to learn about wine is in the drinking.
18. It is the best time for a drink.
19. Coffee keeps me going until it’s acceptable to drink wine.
20. My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.
21. The glow is visible within a few days of drinking regularly.
22. Taking a selfie during drinking wine.
23. Drink wine or go to hell.
24. Adulting makes me wine.
25. If we sip the wine, we find dreams coming upon us out of the imminent night.
26. What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.
27. Wine a bit. You’ll feel better.
28. Wine is cheaper than therapy.
29. There are many wines that taste great but do not drink well.
30. If you can drink away your hurts, it must have been champagne.
31. After drinking so much wine, I need a Napa!
Short Wine Captions For Instagram
32. It’s wine o’clock somewhere.
33. Save water, drink wine.
34. Wine is life.
35. Working nine to wine.
36. A wine for everyone.
37. I need more wine.
38. Wine makes all things possible.
39. Keep calm and drink wine.
40. Uncork and unwind
41. We’re on an all-grape diet.
42. It’s time to drink wine.
43. Life is too short to drink bad wine.
44. Home is where the wine is.
45. My favorite wine is here.
46. BRB: on cloud wine
47. Partners in wine.
48. You’re Tannat of Ten!
49. Wine is my Valentine.
50. When I sip. You sip. We sip.
Funny Wine Captions For Instagram
51. Wine is the answer. What was the question?
52. Our book club only reads wine labels.
53. I can see no reason why anyone should ever go into a cellar unless there is wine involved.
54. Ask not what wine has done for you but rather what you are willing to do for some wine.
55. Any friend of wine is a friend of mine.
56. What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
57. Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine.
58. Tonight’s forecast: 99 percent chance of wine.
59. Love her more than wine, and that’s saying something!
60. I still don’t know what a wine stopper is for.
61. Not wine-ing about this situation.
62. Compromises are for relationships, not wine.
63. Wine improves with age – the older I get, the better I like it.
64. If a life of wine, women, and song becomes too much, give up the singing.
65. He who loves not wine, women, and song remains a fool his whole life long.
66. Oops! Did I buy wine instead of milk again?
Hilarious Wine Puns Captions
67. I’m on cloud wine.
68. Read between the wines.
69. I left him on red.
70. Hakuta Moscato
71. Oh, sweet child of wine.
72. Friends don’t let friends wine alone
73. Sauvignon blanc out.
74. Sip me, baby, one more time.
75. Great minds drink alike.
76. Sonoma-lly I don’t drink this much!
77. I need to re-wine my life.
78. I make grape decisions.
79. Wine flies when you’re having fun
80. Say you’ll be wine.
81. Wine flies when you’re having fun.
82. I’m a wino-saur
83. I love my partner-in-wine
84. Here for the right riesling.
85. Everything happens for a Riesling
86. I’ll be there in a prosecco!
87. Que syrah, syrah!
88. I’m Syrah-sly in love with this wine.
More Wine Jokes & Puns For Instagram Captions
89. Wine not?
90. I make wine disappear. What’s your superpower?
91. You’re the wine that I want.
92. Wine Wednesday? What about wine every day?
93. My day just went from super to sip-erb, really quick.
94. The puppy joined the K-Wine Squad.
95. Wine-one-one my glass is empty.
96. Be kind, and re-wine.
97. It’s time to wine down.
98. Love the wine you’re with.
99. We make some really grape decisions.
100. My blood type is Wine-O.
101. Sip happens. It’s okay to wine.
102. What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
103. I ne-bermet a wine I didn’t like.
Great Wine Captions For Instagram
104. If you’ve got the wine, I’ve got the time.
105. Improving with age – me and my wine.
106. Just drink it to know it better.
107. Is there wine where you are?
108. Coffee now. Wine later.
109. Life is nothing without wine.
110. I enjoy long romantic walks down the wine aisle.
111. Wine’s day Wednesday.
112. Roses are red. Violets are fine. Let’s order pizza and I’ll bring the wine.
113. Gone with the wine.
114. So much to drink .
115. Wines to relax with after a long day.
116. Try to give up drinking wine.
117. Wines to blank out the daily grind.
118. I want to go on a cleanse, but then wine happens.
119. Tasting wine on the couch is a unique experience.
Rose Wine Captions For Instagram
120. Yes, way rosé
121. Rosé every day.
122. Anything is possible with sunshine and a glass of rosé wine.
123. Fifty shades of rosé.
124. You had me at rosé.
125. Rosé the day away.
126. I’ll take rosé over roses today, thank you.
127. Where there’s a will, there’s a rose!
128. Rosé can you see?
129. La vie en rosé.
130. Rosé to the occasion.
131. On Wednesdays we drink pink
132. Slay then rosé.
133. Rosé is bae.
134. Stop and smell the rosé.
135. Pretty in pink.
136. Pink isn’t just a color. It’s an attitude.
137. Rosé all day.
138. Take time to stop and smell the rose.
139. Will you accept this rosé?
140. Pink is my signature color.
141. The world looks better through rosé-colored glasses.
142. Wine that is pink in color makes me happy.
143. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy rosé, and that’s close enough.
144. Anything is possible with sparkle and a little pink.
145. Sippin’ pink-gold lemonades.
146. Do you have this in pink?
147. Got the rose-pink tinted lenses. It’s a Wednesday
148. I was told you’d have rosé.
149. If it’s pink or sparkly, yes, I want it.
Red Wine Captions For Instagram
150. Slay all day then cabernet
151. You had me at merlot.
152. Red, wine, and booze.
153. Cabernet? More like, caber-yay!
154. Red lips and wine sips.
155. How merlot can you go?
156. Exercise makes you more attractive. So does Pinot Noir. Your choice.
157. The reddest wines for the reddest lips.
158. Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I’ll be just fine.
159. One drop of wine is enough to redden a whole glass of water.
White Wine Captions For Instagram
160. Always at the right place with the white wine.
161. Chardonnay or should I go?
162. Go chard or go home.
163. Today I’m going to be as useless as the “T” in Pinot Grigio.
164. White wine all the time.
165. White wines are sparkling clean and clear.
166. This Blanc will tingle your spirits.
167. It’s ok to drink white wine after Labor Day.
Instagram Captions for People Who Love Wine
168. When the clocks strike five, we break out the wine.
169. I’m not a wino. I’m a wine-YES!
170. Uncork, unwind, and drink some fine wine.
171. If you love wine, you will love us.
172. The bottle says “four servings” but my heart says one.
173. There hasn’t been a wine I haven’t liked.
174. You don’t need a special celebration to drink wine.
175. At this point, wine should sponsor me.
176. Just tasting this year’s rosé. How about you?
177. If you can’t be with the one you love, love the wine you’re with.
178. Summer is as fine as an aged wine.
179. Starting this weekend off with a wine tasting.
180. Should I start an Instagram account where I rate wines?
181. I’ll take any excuse to wine down.
182. I’m determined to taste a new wine every week.
183. Every time you drink it, you find something new.
184. You don’t drink it, you kiss it.
185. I’m so outdoorsy. I taste wine on my patio.
186. First, we taste wine. Then, we make s’mores.
187. Grape times begin with you.
188. Elegant in taste, elegant in color, elegant in flavor.
189. You’ll definitely want to post something that shows off your love of wine.
Wine With Friends Captions For Instagram
190. A true friend reaches for your hand and puts a wine glass in it.
191. Friends don’t let friends drink cheap wine.
192. Good friends and good wine.
193. All I need: my BFF and a glass of wine.
194. The best wines are the ones we drink with friends.
195. Girls just wanna have wine!
196. Wine pairs nicely with good friends.
197. Good friends wine together.
198. Let’s go wine tasting on the couch.
199. Friends and wine… the older the better.
200. Blessed with the best company and the best wine.
201. I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.
202. Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life’s most civilized pleasures.
203. Age appears best in four things: old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.
204. Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise
205. The only one I’d share my favorite rosé with.
206. I wheely like wine nights with you.
Glass Of Wine Captions For Instagram
207. It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There’s clearly room for more wine.
208. Today’s forecast: 100 percent chance of a wine glass in my hand.
209. Of course size matters. No one wants a small glass of wine.
210. Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath, and a glass of wine.
211. Feel the class after drinking a glass.
212. Sipping back and drinking the weekend from a glass.
213. So much taste in just a glass.
214. The first kiss and the first glass of wine are the best.
215. Back that glass up.
216. I could really go for a glass of wine and my own private island right about now.
217. Sir, I did not count your glasses of wine, why should you number up my cups of tea?
Bottle Of Wine Captions For Instagram
218. I just rescued some wine. It was trapped in a bottle.
219. I need a glass of wine…or a bottle…or a winery in Italy.
220. Hardest decision today: glass or bottle
221. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.
222. Open a bottle at the smallest excuse.
223. Every empty bottle is filled with a great story.
224. Wine, because it’s not good to keep things bottled up.
225. The more aged a bottle of wine the more improved its taste.
226. I like on the table, when we’re speaking, the light of a bottle of intelligent wine.
Wine Captions For Instagram Pictures
227. We know just how to wine down after a long week.
228. Step aside coffee! This is a job for alcohol!
229. Wine. Because no great story starts by drinking water.
230. Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
231. Time to become a superhero and rescue some wine trapped in a bottle.
232. Wine me up and watch me go!
233. It is the wine that leads me on.
234. It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine.
235. Beer is made by men, wine by God.
236. It’s not a hangover, it’s wine flu.
237. With wine and hope, anything is possible.
238. But not with my wine, obviously. Give it back.
239. Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter… sermons, and soda-water the day after.
240. Like human beings, a wine’s taste is going to depend a great deal on its origins and its upbringing.
241. With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.
242. A wine that helps you in holistic living.
Happy Wine Captions For Instagram
243. Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.
244. It’s a smile, it’s a kiss, it’s a sip of wine… it’s summertime!
245. I’m currently on cloud wine.
246. All you need is love and wine
247. Wines to celebrate every occasion.
248. Every day is a very good day to drink wine.
249. Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
250. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.
251. Great views, great company, great wine, can’t ask for much more!
252. Wine brightens the life and thinking of anyone.
253. Wine a little, laugh a lot.
254. Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.
255. Wines that will bring peace into your life.
256. What more could a man ask for?
257. Home is where the wine is, so I’m definitely home here.
258. Every sip of wine is a delightful experience.
259. I felt once more how simple and frugal a thing is a happiness: a glass of wine, a roast chestnut, a wretched little brazier, the sound of the sea. Nothing else.
260. This home runs on love, laughter, and really good wine.
261. Wine rejoices the heart of man, and joy is the mother of all virtues.
Wine Captions About Vineyards & Winemaking
262. A vineyard that brings you the best, handcrafted wines.
263. Our winemaking isn’t just a craft. To us, it is an art.
264. Tasting our way through the vineyard.
265. Exclusive vineyards
266. I swear it’s always sunny at the winery.
Eating & Drinking Wine Captions For Instagram
267. Wine + dinner = winner.
268. A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine.
269. Wine and dine to keep you fine.
270. Laugh out loud after wining and dining a lot.
271. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food!!
272. Wine… the intellectual part of the meal.
Beautiful Captions About Wine For Instagram
273. His lips drink water but his heart drinks wine.
274. Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather, and a little music played out of doors by somebody I do not know.
275. Wine is bottled poetry.
276. A wine that will make you rise and shine in the morning.
277. When the wine is just as beautiful as the view #blessed.
278. Enjoy the atmosphere where wine flows freely as water.
279. The most pleasant experience ever.
280. A wine worth rolling in your mouth.
281. Wine enters through the mouth, Love, the eyes. I raise the glass to my mouth.
282. Only the unique drink the unique.
283. Wine and women make wise men dote and forsake God’s law and do wrong.
Clever Wine Captions For Instagram
284. Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
285. Whether wine is a nourishment, medicine or poison is a matter of dosage.
286. Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.
287. Language is wine upon the lips.
288. Wine is the most civilised thing in the world.
289. Wines made for connoisseurs.
290. See the wine beckoning you to sip it.
291. Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.
292. Our wines are meant for the gentry alone.
293. High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water, but everybody likes water.
294. Exquisite wines are nonpareil.
295. Wine is like the incarnation – it is both divine and human.
296. Wine can be a better teacher than ink, and banter is often better than books.
297. I pray you do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine.
298. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.
299. I like my coffee black, my beer from Germany, wine from Burgundy, the darker, the better.
300. A wine concocted only for the Haut monde.
Cheese and Wine Captions
301. Be as bubbly as your drink, and as cheesy as your board.
302. We go together like wine and cheese.
303. Netflix is better with wine and cheese.
304. You feta believe I put this cheese board together myself.
305. Wine and cheese brie-long together.
306. This cheese board is as nice as can brie.
307. Just putting my cheese board to good use.
308. This is nacho average cheese board.
309. The best things in life are cheese.
310. Let’s re-wine this night and do it again.
More Wine Captions For Instagram
311. Let’s pause and re-wine.
312. In wine, there’s truth.
313. Is there a wine filter?
314. Wines that will keep you going for more.
315. A wine that compliments the scenery.
316. You will just fall in love with a variety of wines.
317. Fine wine says a lot about a person.
318. Red or white, sparkling and bright, our wines are an absolute delight.
319. German wine is Gewurzt!
320. There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom.
321. You’ll need wine tour instagram captions that are absolutely sip-erb.
322. Wine is my spirit animal.
323. Well-groomed champagnes for every occasion.
324. The bubbles are sparkling in the mellow colors.
325. Rich in both color and taste.
326. “All worries are less with wine.” ― Amit Kalantri
327. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” – Rumi
328. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” ― Louis Pasteur
329. “Drinking wine is like using magic: there’s always a price to pay.” – Neel Burton
330. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” – Louis Pasteur
331. “Beer dulls a memory, brandy sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.” ― Patrick Rothfuss
Happy Hour Captions & Puns For Instagram
332. Long Live Happy Hour!
333. Choose happy…hour.
334. Happy hour is the best hour
335. Happy hour or better call it cocktail hour.
336. Happy hour? I prefer to make every hour happy.
337. Happy hour is necessary on days when meetings could have been emails.
338. Darling, every hour is ‘happy hour’ when you are fabulous.
339. Happy hour o’clock.
340. Live every hour like it’s happy hour.
341. Sip happens at happy hour.
342. Happy hour vibes.
343. Be happy for this moment.
344. God has given you unlimited and countless happy hours, you just need to find and recognise them.
345. We go together like Fridays and happy hour.
346. Happy hour views.
347. Happiest among all the hours.
348. Only count the happy hours.
349. Peace, love, and happy hour.
350. Let’s make this a recurring meeting.
351. Good vibes happen at happy hour.
Drinking Alcohol Captions For Instagram
352. No working during drinking hours.
353. Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.
354. Drinking before 10am makes you a pirate not an alcoholic
355. According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
356. My friends speak of my drinking…. but they know not of my thirst
357. Don’t even ask, just pour me a drink.
358. I’m in need of liquid therapy.
359. Alcohol you later
360. First drink, then let’s think about it.
361. A drink a day keeps reality at bay.
362. I enjoy long romantic walks toward the bar.
363. I have mixed drinks about feelings
364. Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Wanna drink about it?
365. I’m feeling a bit overworked and under intoxicated.
366. Enjoy a taste of heaven.
Short Alcohol Captions For Instagram
367. You can’t sip with us
368. I’ll drink to that!
369. Let’s drink about it
370. It’s thirsty Thursday.
371. Save water, drink alcohol
372. You look like I need a drink.
373. Sip, sip hooray!
374. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.
375. I followed my heart & It led me to ALCOHOL.
376. Sir sips’ a lot.
377. Drink happy thoughts.
378. Sip happens
379. Pour quality pic, high quality friends.
380. Bottoms Up!
381. Sippin’ and chillin’.
382. Cheers to pour decisions
Funny Drinking Alcohol Captions
383. You are so bottlefull to me
384. And then alcohol said, “Put that on Facebook, it’s hilarious.” But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong.
385. Strong women need strong drinks
386. Friends are therapists you can drink with.
387. Alcohol + “Watch this!” = 911
388. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
389. I used to think drinking was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.
390. Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
391. Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need. Better to be safe than sober.
392. I drink to make other people more interesting.
393. Alcohol won’t solve your problems. Then again, neither will milk.
394. That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.
395. I quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.
396. Twinkle, twinkle, little star, point us to the nearest bar.
397. Alcohol- The best “night-time, speech slurring, headache creating, dehydration having, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance” medicine.
398. Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off.
Short Drinking Alcohol Quotes
399. “Cheers to the freakin’ weekend.” — Rihanna, “Cheers (Drink to That)”
400. “What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” – W.C. Fields
401. “What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!” – George Gordon
402. “If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.” – W.C. Fields
403. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra
404. “I don’t have a drinking problem except when I can’t get a drink.” – Tom Waits
405. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C Fields
406. “I drink when I have occasion … and sometimes when I have no occasion.” – Miguel De Cervantes
407. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
408. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart
409. “Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.” — G.K. Chesterton
410. “War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.” – William Faulkner
411. “I have mixed drinks about feelings” – Unknown
412. “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill
413. “99% of all problems can be solved by money — and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” ― Quentin R. Bufogle
414. “Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.” – Finley Peter Dunne
415. “Death: “THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.” Albert: “Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.” ― Terry Pratchett
416. “They’re professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jaeger shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don’t forget that the Russians – any Russian – can drink you under the table.” ― Anthony Bourdain
417. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson
418. “Ignorance is a lot like alcohol: the more you have of it, the less you are able to see its effect on you.” ― Jay Bylsma
419. “It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
420. “I once heard someone say that the concept of moderation seems a little extreme, and tonight…I agree.” ― Koren Zailckas
421. “It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance” ― William Shakespeare, Macbeth
422. “I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.” ― William Shakespeare, Othello
423. “Research consistently shows that the risks to health outweigh the benefits of drinking alcohol. My argument is that the benefits to my mental health justify the risks.” ― Graeme Simsion
Drinking Alcohol Quotes:
424. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Great Gatsby’
425. “I think I need a drink.’ ‘Almost everybody does only they don’t know it.” ― Charles Bukowski
426. “…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine.” ― Gillian Flynn
427. “That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.” ― Charles Bukowski
428. “I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” – Abraham Lincoln
429. “But in college, we can wear our alcohol abuse as proudly as our university sweatshirts; the two concepts are virtually synonymous.” ― Koren Zailckas
430. “Frankly, I was horrified by life, at what a man had to do simply in order to eat, sleep, and keep himself clothed. So I stayed in bed and drank. When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn’t have you by the throat.” ― Charles Bukowski
431. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
432. “Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!” ― Warren Ellis
433. “An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.” ― Criss Jami
434. “A man is a fool is he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
Funny Drinking Alcohol Quotes
435. “I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” — Ron White
436. “A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” – W.C. Fields
437. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” – Rodney Dangerfield
438. “After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” – Oscar Wilde
439. “Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.” – Philip Rosenthal
440. “Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.” – Herman Smith- Johannsen
441. “Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets.” – Dudley Moore
442. “Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.” – Robert Benchley
443. “I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra
444. “I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” – Joe E Ellis
445. “Drinking makes uninteresting people matter less and late at night, matter not at all.” – Lillian Hellman
446. “One can drink too much, but one never drinks enough.” – Edward Burke
447. “He that drinks fast, pays slow.” – Benjamin Franklin
448. “I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.” – Oscar Levant
449. “I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” – Chelsea Handler
450. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman
451. “The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.” – Jeff Foxworthy
452. “Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.” – Mark Twain
Funny Alcohol Quotes
453. “I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. But alcohol can’t talk. It just sits there. It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” – David Levithan
454. “Alcohol provides the only true escape, that’s why it still remains in such high demand.” – Robert Black
455. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” – Richard Braunstein
456. “I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: “Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.” ― George Carlin
457. “A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.” – Albert Einstein
458. “Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death.” – Ben Jonson
459. “Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” — Sammy Davis, Jr.
460. “Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean, against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people.” – Unknown
461. “Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.” – Alex Levine
462. “The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for my enemies.” – William Temple
463. “Drink washes off the daub and discovers the man.” – Thomas Fuller
464. “There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.” ― Chelsea Handler
465. “Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol, except health, happiness, and money.” – Mary Wilson Little
466. “Always do sober what you said you’d do when you were drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut!” — Ernest Hemingway
467. “A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.” – Winston S. Churchill
468. “The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.” ― William Butler Yeats
469. “When we drink we get drunk. When we get drunk we fall asleep. And when we fall asleep we commit no sin. When we commit no sin we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” – Brian O’Rourke
470. “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – Dean Martin
471. “I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” – Dorothy Parker
472. “It takes only one drink to get me drunk…..the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” – George Burns
473. “Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.” — Seneca
474. “Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” – Eleanor Early
475. Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches. When you can’t get the straw in the hole anymore, you’ve had enough.
476. Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.
477. I make pour decisions!
478. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
479. I hope to arrive to my death late, in love, and a little drunk.
480. Alcohol: Some of the best times you’ll never remember.
481. A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.
482. Thank you from the bottom of my glass.
483. Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
484. Alcohol is the liquid version of photoshop.
Quotes About Drunk People
485. “I’m not drunk, just a little stoned.” ― Gerard Way
486. “Maybe some folks are alcoholics and others are just voluntary drunks. Maybe some folks drink due to body chemistry and others due to their lazy characters. Maybe some have drinking problems, while others have problems enough to drink.” ― George Jones
487. “The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” – William Butler Yeats
488. “Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.” ― Criss Jami
489. “Some people are extroverts only when they are drunk.” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana
490. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” – Steve Fergosi
Quotes About Being Sober & Not Drinking Alcohol
491. “That’s all drugs and alcohol do, they cut off your emotions in the end.” – Ringo Starr
492. “I’m very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.” – Jim Carrey
493. “When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.” – Jimmy Breslin
494. “There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.” – Ovid
495. “One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.” – Lady Astor
496. “I don’t need alcohol to see the world in its depths, I carry the sun in me.” – Lamine Pearlheart
497. “Not drinking makes me a lot happier.” – Naomi Campbell
498. “Sobriety was the greatest gift I ever gave myself.” – Rob Lowe
499. “I do like to have fun. I don’t need alcohol to have fun.” – Rima Fakih
500. “Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven’t touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane.” ― Craig Ferguson
501. “Life is important. There is nothing to hold onto. A man that drinks is throwing his life away. Don’t do it, hold on to your life. There is nothing else to hold on to .” – Tennessee Williams
502. “I hate the taste of alcohol. When I’m drinking, I’m drinking Red Bull.” — Paris Hilton
503. “When you quit drinking, you stop waiting.” – Caroline Knapp, “Drinking: A Love Story”
504. “My mind may be sober, but my confidence is high!” ― Habeeb Akande
505. “The day I became free of alcohol was the day that I fully understood and embraced the truth that I would not be giving anything up by not drinking.” – Liz Hemingway, “I Need To Stop Drinking!”
Wine Captions & Quotes For Instagram Summary
I hope you got lots of ideas and inspiration for these Instagram captions, puns, jokes and quotes about wine and were able to find the perfect one to go with your photos!
Do you know any more wine captions that I haven’t included? If so, let me know in the comment below as I love to hear from you!
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